Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
