Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
