I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
