I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
