do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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