That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize