Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
