..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
