Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
