her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
