Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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