nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
