actually, I'm a sock model
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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