i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
