Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
