Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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