My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
