your thong is hanging out like whoa
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
