We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
