you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
