dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize