oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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