She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I AM VODKA MAN
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
