I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
