I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
