This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
