And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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