I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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