Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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