My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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