my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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