I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just want to make out with him forever
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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