So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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