I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
