i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
