just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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