i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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