If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
