i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I can tuck mytits in my pants
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
