I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
