either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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