Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
