I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize