Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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