great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
