Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
