oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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