5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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