there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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