well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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