Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
