I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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