so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
They took my balls.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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