you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
