Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
