I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
