so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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