where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
