I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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