she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize