Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
