i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
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