i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
