Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
